Home For the Holidays

Man I feels good to be home....I've been home since last Sunday. I'm going home today later in the day but it feels like I've barely been here. The week went by to fast. While I was home I feel that it was very productive. I didnt spend much money and got more lol....I got my shit straight with my L's, chilled with my brothers, saw a WHOLE bunch of peeps from HS, saw my old HS coaches and AAU Coaches....watched my man Lashard play. Soooo I would say overall its been rather productive.

Monday I start this job at this marketing firm, I just pray to God that it isn't boring and i'm not motivated to work lol. But hey it's decent money and some experience to put under my belt so we will see how it goes.

Other than that, I need to get my black ass in shape and start saving money for the various things that I need to pay for and do in the near future. I really need to start making a lot of moves ASAP. Maybe I don't but I'm always pushing myself to get things done.

As far as hoop, man do I miss it. I'm sick of watching it!!! I think I'm just gonna try to go to Hope lol. Man I know I can get in the gym and weight room whenever I want and I would literally try to score 30 a game if I went there.

Thats all thats on my mind....and I'm out

Christmas Break

Thank God it's finally here, some damn time off from having 18 units. Since school has been out my roommate Chris and I have had a lot of fun. We have had people over the past few days, little shindigs if you wanna call em that. Little damble with four bottles of champange in two days for me lol. Other than that I'm happy as hell that we are out of school. I do have to go to wintersession so I stay on track so I'm going to get that done.

Today was a pretty solid day for me, I had a interview at a Marketing firm this morning for a marketing researcher position. I'm kind of excited about that, I just took this weak marketing class but learned a few things so actually putting something I learned to school in use is kinda cool to me. I also recieved a call today from 24 hour fitness regarding a little interview. If there's one thing about me, I'm never worried about a interview because I usually kill em lol. So hey if I get both I might just work at both. Get some experience at one job, and flexible hours and a free membership at another.

Now that school is over I do have more time to really get on the court and work on some thing. Also I get a chance to get in the weight room and really do the things I need to do to work on my game. Another thing I am trying to get done is visiting a few schools to find a place to play next year. Man if it wasn't for Brandon and ADeez I might not be motivated to do this. It's a long road to get back and I'm trying to get it done.

Man one thing though is I can't wait to go home for Christmas, funds are low, haven't been home to mess with my Brothers or Mom since Thanksgiving and I need to be home lol. Of course when I get down there I'm trying to stay in the gym, stay in the weight room and just be posted at the house. One thing right now that I'm real proud about is my little brother Anthony. Man this young boy has developed into a hell of a little athlete. Football and Basketbal on teh brink of Varsity for both. He's pretty damn good too, I just need to be a guiding influence for him to help him be better than me and be successful.

You know what's funny I had been thinking about things lately like I always do. I have been thinking about marriage, I think I am to the age where I have to start thinking that. But my only thing with that is things aren't always as they appear. From my experience I hope and wish that someone is the right one or a good one but, things don't always workout. Hell maybe its me wanting what I can't have. Or maybe it's just girls not being appealed by me hell. Beats me, I guess I can't want what I can't have. If a women is out there tell me lol.

Of course I want to finish this giving glory to God. I learned one thing, when you pray and ask God for something he does not literally give it to you but he gives you opportunities and opens doors for you. For example, I've prayed for help with my financial situation, he gave me two great opportunities to make money. I ask for strength to fight through this basketball situation and stay motivated and he keeps Brandon and Ashlee around me to do so and keep me motivated to do it. So Lord I do thank you. :)

Jimmy V Week

"Never Give Up"

I appreciate Jimmy V as a person for this statement because it is something I embody. RIP Jimmy V. If u dont know who he is look on ESPN.com

Not feelin to shabby....

Man I'm feelin pretty good today. My group and I ripped our marketing presentation. For anyone who wants to know we did our presentation on marketing Dwight Howard as a new premiere athlete on Nike with his own signature shoe. Presentation went real well, our Prof liked it so all's well to end's well on that. I enjoyed it, I enjoy talking in front of people and presenting information. I told my group you can throw what ever you want on my back and I got yall. When it comes down to something that I have to do and people have to depend on me, I gotta come through. I told them let me be Chauncey Billups/ Mr. Big Shot, just give me the ball and get outta the way and I'll handle it. Lol, I think they were happy with my performence.

Other than that, obviously as everyone know's it a Holiday weekend. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, I hope everyone has a blessed Thanksgiving and also a safe one too. I hope anyone who can't spend time with their family for Thanksgiving can be blessed with God's presence and still have an enjoyable holiday weekend. I think I've learned that holidays bearing anything crazy or anything happenening you HAVE to be with your family. Its real important, that's what it is for to be around your family and to appreciate all of the blessings your recieve. Mom's and I are driving to Tucson, AZ to the Grandparents house. Man thats gonna be a long drive. But the food will be wonderful! lol.

Man lately I have been realizing a lot of things about life, about people, about God. My conclusion to the situations, put my heart in God and he'll take of me. Through all these trials and tribulations he is the one that is ALWAYS there for me. Brandon told me something he learned in Old Testament, it goes something like this: When you believe in man you get disappointed but when you believe or put all your heart in God he wont. That wasn't the exact thing he said but something along the lines. Its crazy though how through everything you feel that people that are on your side really aren't. They don't believe in your, they talk down about you. It blows your mind, someone who at one time is on your side next thing you know speaks so critical about you. You know the worst part, if it's a family member, if it's a person who said they put a lot of trust into you. Then all of a sudden they think nothing of you. Man if it wasn't for God and the people he put in my life I wouldnt be a persaverant person. That's my character right there, the thing that defines me. My persaverence, I've been through to much enough that people tell me the average person would've quit but I didnt, I dont do that and never will. I hate talking about myself but thats real, I dont quit. I just thank God for the blessings he gives me, my friends, Ashlee, Brandon, Dwaine, Jeremy, Jasmine, and Jordan, they all motivate me in their own ways. They are always there for me and always tell me whats real. They all are people that believe in me, they are me, they are apart of me and a extension of me. Man I can't forget my man Keith, God just made him appear back in my life and he always is there to give me a great word. A word of encouragement and is always great to hear what he has to say. Of course I can't leave out my Mom, she's the best fuck the rest lol. I know she'll be there for me from the womb to the tomb enough said.

Basketball, man what can I say I love it! Lol, hopefully this stuff works out that I've been getting into lately with coaches and I can find something. God doesnt just give you stuff he open's doors for you and gives you the free will to step in the doors and let you handle the task at hand. I've been asking for help and his blessings and I definately think that he's been opening these doors. I definately appreciate it Lord. Like I always say I gotta accomplish these goals and I won't stop until I do.

I'm back like a left somethin, it's been a while since I wrote on here. Lately nothing much has been going on. I think I have finally started to realize that God has always been blessing me. I am starting to see the little things and the large things. With all the trials and tribulations God has been giving me opportunities to do things so I am deeply greatful for it. Things are starting to turn around a little for the better, school, basketball, finances a little. I am just taking my blessings as I can and appreciating them.

Other than that I've been working out pretty much everyday or every other day on the basketball court and I'm feeling pretty good. I just want to keep my game tight and continue to improve. The three things I want to work on the most, lateral quickness with moves I make on offense, my balance which is very terrible, just my cardio. I think those are the main things that I want to focus on so....I'm on it. I need to shed a few pounds but that will come with me being on the court.

Last Saturday I went to go see some of my peeps play at Long Beach St. My little sister and PJ and their team SDSU got a tough W on the road at Long Beach. Shafiya tried to hold it down out there until she got hurt and Ally came out JACKIN for LBSU lol. It was a pretty solid game, I hadn't seen Jerica since Xmas and PJ since.....high school man I feel old lol. My little sister Jerica went nut's for 23 hell of a game. Happy I was there to see it and support.

Man I'm ready for all these damn CD's coming out during the holiday season or New Year. Kayne, Hov, Drake needs to drop his new mixtape and album. Music, music, music, you gotta love it. Just heard some of the Dedication 3, you know DJ Drama makes fire and I'm liking it so far.

My state of mind right now, it's pretty calm I'm just foucused on knocking out these classes, being able to support myself and take care of my business, and finding a place to play basketball next year.

My man Lendale White I mean TD goin to work at San Bernardino in the newspaper and school, going to work on Vanguard. But hey thats what TD does he's bigtime lol.

Oh and if you didn't know, I WANT TO PLAY BASKETBALL! Man this shit is eating away at me, I say it everyday. I just pray that God opens a door for me for my Senior year. I promise I will deliver! I promise.

Well i think thats all I have to say for the night...until next time

reality

things aren't always as they seem. they aren't always what you imagine for them to be in your head....you can picture something in your mind, a situation, a feeling good, bad or indifferent. your dreams, hope hopes your desires. and when the time comes and the things really happen thats called....reality. some things aren't as they appear such as people, places, things...hell mostly nouns...lol...You work hard to get somewhere it might not happen or it happens different than what you have expected. But all you can do is keep working to get where you want to be, have faith in God...Do your part and leave the rest in his hands....Never, ever, ever lose your faith in him...

Its just what I was feeling at the moment, just my thoughts man...right or wrong it's what i happened to be feelin at the time....walk wit a nigga, vibe wit me!

JB

God Bless America,
I am happy that another Black man has the opportunity to be in the largest position of power in America. It is another great step in Black History. The sad thing is regardless of the times people are still critical of him. And yes it is about RACE when people are being critical about him, lets keep in 100 deep down inside people love to make shit racial. Race is still prevalent in America, while it is "illegal" people can always find ways around it.

Now that we have that out of the way....shit aint changed over here, tryna make a dollar outta 15 cents, man oh man I am definately blessed and should appriciate it but I always strive to want more. Not that I am unappriciative but because I always want to be doing better. So I pray that things do get better. I pray for all my family, friends loved one's, everyone in the world good bad or indifferent.

JB

I Voted

It feels good, its something I think your suppsoed to do if you want to make a difference in America. Thats all for now...My President is Black!

JB

There are four things that are killers of potential," Louisville coach Rick Pitino said. "One is drugs. Two is alcohol. Three is disrespecting women, and four is a lack of humility. You will never reach your potential if you think you've arrived before you have."

Real life spit....

And to add a quote

If you know me you know that I like to find little quotes here and there to put in my memory bank and when stuffs going bad go to it to lift me up....

Well I was actually listening to a Drake song and embodied this quote...it was something I actually felt...that was something on my heart and in my head that I didn't know how to explain but the quote did it for me...

" Difference between me and you/I just hit rock bottom/ after this I dont have a choice/ I got people to provide for/ promises I made and goals to meet/What you got?"

So work from class

It is rare that I actually care to write a paper or anything but with this I was on a roll....It is using the form of confessional writing and deconstructing myself....this actually helped me ALOT! I have had so much going on lately and if you know me you know I hate feeling sorry about myself....sooo here goes if you would like to read go ahead....

Dear John or JB what ever you like to be called,

Hello this is your inside; this is who really knows you better than anyone else. I am the being that is inside of you, the one that feeds you hunger and motivation to accomplish things in your everyday life. I am the one who wakes you up on a daily basis at 5:30am to get on the OCTA bus and ride an hour and twenty minutes to school. I am the thing inside of you that keeps you from quitting on school when it’s tough. I’m the one that makes you want to receive your degree. I am the one that arouses you to love God, your family, basketball, music and beautiful women. I am you, I am beyond you, I am better than you, I am the truth. I am the one that makes you love nice clothes, shoes and music. I am the thing that sparks that pushes you through tough basketball workouts. I am the catalyst that makes you lift weights for a hour or two, do drills on the court for two to three hours when know one else wants to do it with you. I am the driving force that wants you to a professional athlete. Not because you want the fame and money but because you love basketball and because we both know that you can go above and beyond the average that is societies standard. We both know you would not mind the money or fame but you want it for all the right reasons. I am the one that keeps you motivated that when a Coach at school disappoint you that you will continue you persevere through the difficulties and accomplish your goal of playing basketball for a living. Through think and thin I am the inspiring force in you that won’t let you quit. I will continue to force you to not me normal but to be spectacular in the world. I will keep making you want to obtain what seems to be obtainable for the average person. I am the shield made of Teflon, Kevlar, and what ever other impeccable force or detouring thing to stop hatred or slander from people telling you what you can and can’t do. Could you imagine having family not believe in you? Close friends? Asking you, “what are you trying to continue on this route, this basketball isn’t going to be there forever” Our response emphatically, “Fuck you”. I am the reminder like a alarm clock telling you what your Mother has told you since you were a little boy, “know one can tell you what you can’t do, if you put your mind and heart into it you can do whatever you want. Do not let anyone stop you from doing what you want to do and accomplishing your goals.” And you and I believe it, hell we still do. That was meant for when you were a little boy, like when you say, “I want to be a fireman! Or an Astronaut, or no no no maybe a Scientist!” But we still embody the view and think about it day in and day out.
I am the thing that helps you get through the difficulty of life. We talk all the time, you don’t remember? Just recently when sat down and spoke about where you life really is and where you want it to be. We did agree that things have not worked out the way that you have wanted; we did agree that some situations are self inflicted. Other situations are inevitable, some people like you some people don’t and like Coach Dennis Kane taught you, “there are only two things you can control, what you say and what you do.” So that is why the both of us do not stress too much about the inevitable. You and I have an understanding that through thick and thin, rich or poorer, death do we part, we will never quit on each other, or anyone else or ourselves. Wait, isn’t each other and ourselves the same thing? Not quite sure lets continue….
I am the one that reminds you on a daily basis that you have one of the best Mothers on earth. I wouldn’t doubt if she is the THE best. She’s the only person that has only been there for you all of your life other than God. It’s not the financial aspect that she helps you with that matters, it’s not the fact that she does things for you and your brothers that many parents don’t do. It’s the fact that she has a heart the size of the world. I’m pretty sure you can remember when you were around 3 years old and it was just you and her when your parents were not together. You two were inseparable, back when things were difficult for her. You two had to ride public transportation for some odd minutes or hours to be where ever you needed to be. In Erie, Pennsylvania you two would bundle up in your snow clothes and ride the bus and go where ever made you happy. This was a time in your life where you had no worries, no intuition. This is the time that you two developed your relationship as best friends. But I am pretty sure you know this because if I know it you know it. To this day you know that she will still do anything for you and vice versa. Remember in 2006, when your Great Aunt in Philadelphia went to a better place? She could not afford to buy a plane ticket and your step father was not willing to help her get one, (don’t get mad because he is a selfish bastard). You then made one of the most unselfish moves you have ever made in your life. You just received a three thousand dollar financial aid check and you bought her plane ticket, paid her phone bill and gave her money to have while she was in Philadelphia. Wow, I do not want to be arrogant but I commend you, I mean myself, ah hell you know what I mean. Your eyes are probably filling full of tears as we speak. You know what those tears are full of? Love, you think you don’t know what love feels like? That’s what love is, the drops of love are running down your face right now. Not out of sadness always out of happiness. It is a extremely great feeling, love, the love of your mother is not measurable and vise versa.
Now your father, your biological father on the other hand is a very odd man. You and I would think that he would have compassion for his son, his first child. After he had made mistakes throughout your lifetime but, he is who he is. Let me tell you a little story of what I think, after he and your mother split up through all the trials and tribulations with child support through thick and thin he knows that he made a mistake creating you. I think he is just too selfish to care about another being, he can’t be too close to another being or maybe he doesn’t want to have the responsibility of another person. But you and I both know that right? I know that he is troubled, why after years of not speaking to you abuse you when you lived with him? You were a simple child right? You made little childish mistakes, lose your keys, don’t clean up your mess, forget to do a chore. I am the one that was there in your mid and heart when you went through this torment. I am the one that influenced you to get a book from the school library everyday and read it. I am the force that made you read a book a day, to not come out of your room. I feel that I saved you. I don’t think there was a reason for him to beat you up and throw you around like its nothing. Like his form of discipline was the right thing to do. We both do agree that a little spanking does not hurt anyone it helps you gain discipline so that you don’t get them again or at least you minimize them. But John, excuse me JB is it warranted to get bloody noses, black eyes, gashes from a belt on your stomach? I think not, I am the one that kept you quiet when you were young because you were afraid of him but I am also the thing that helped you fight through this mental and physical anguish. Now once again John you are probably crying while reading this. I think its okay, and obviously you do too. Situations like this is an example of the reason why you are who you are. I think this is why you try to treat people well and like you would like to be treated because you feel like you have been to the deep dark floor of abyss and wouldn’t wish it again your worst enemy. But hey that’s what I like you sport you’re a tough cookie.
Through think and think John or JB or whatever the hell you call yourself just remember with all of the things that we have just discussed that God is with you. He is your savior and he will guide you through this hostile thing we call life. Wait, I just realized something, who am I, I mean you talking to? You’re a wild man, your talking to yourself! Well hey I’m listening you, so is the Lord so expel any other kind of confessional issues you have anytime we are hear for you.

Man oh man

How stressful can stuff be man...I gotta move, still trying to find a job...lots of schoolwork to do....I dont know what to do. I feel like when one bad thing happens its continually happening lately. I can't lie deep down inside I'm hurting. I get one of the things I love the most taken away from me (basketball) and then stuff just piles up. Right now its real tough for me. If I didnt have my faith and my mother I dont know where I would be. Mom's told me last weekend whate I have been feeling all along, " With all the stuff you have gone through in college you must be destined to do something great." Man that coming from her...the same exact thought that BG and I always feel...wow...its a crazy feeling. Like Issiah Thomas said, " If you can't persavere when you fall you will be like everyone else." Personally I am trying to be great in every aspect of life so when I fall I keep getting back up. I dont let anyone tell me what I can and can't do I keep chippin away when I face adversity. Hope everyones is good...back to business for me..politics as usual.

JB

Lately

Soooo if anyone care lately nothing much has been going on. Just been slackin on hw, going to SD to chill with the familia and eat free food. Tryna make moves so I can play next year. Oh and not to mention me having to move. Thank God all mighty, he blessed me with a opportunity to find a place to live after a spontaneous situation.

Other than that...I dont have much to say lol. I need to stay consistant on my blogs...
Until then later.

one more thing before I go home tonight....

My sexy ass friend BB got a dope ass blog....
I'm tryna get like that....
nawwww i'm tryna be better....

Told you these nigga's aint better than me! Like a snippier on the roof.... I got em by a long shot!

One more thought

I will not lose....
God made me out of Teflon to repel adversity bullets....
I keep takin em and they are going to keep bouncin off of me....
Like my man Mr. Big Shot said..."No Pain No Fame"

I WILL NOT LOSE!

Just my thoughts man

Well today is another day at school, I'm supposed to be here until 9 tonight but we will see how that goes. I feelin good today, hence I am writing on here. I just need to stay focused on my tasks at hand and I think I will be good. Go day by day and just knock out what needs to be done

On a another note here's my thoughts....
Pacman Jones apparently does not want to play football, once again he does something dumb. I mean I love underdogs I am one myself. But he has to show self control when he's away from the football field because every little thing he does can come back to bite him in the ass.

The NBA and College season is about to start, can't wait to see that. I would rather be playing but hey I guess I just have to suck it up again. My Pistons gotta come through from me this year. To much talent not enough urgentcy to get back over that hump. Syracuse needs to make some noise this year. No injuries, easy system no reason why they can't.

Football season is going good as usual, I must be a sucker for being a 49ers fan but oh well. I just pray that they improve year by year lol.

Man I just got outta this BS Comm class....its on Christianity and Artistic Culture...so basically all we have done is read straight out of the book and now that that unit is over we are talkin about movies and doin long ass packets on em! Like 29 page packets!!

So Vanguard so far...pretty damn easy considering I am taking 19 units....Its way different from public schools the teachers actually care about helping you learn. Its a little dry I really have no social life here then again I dont need to because I want to get the hell out of school.

This shit is still killin me about not being able to play though....Man i miss basketball....many would think it's a hoop dream, hey you have the right to your opinion but this is something that I love to do and that I know I can get paid to do it. Apparently people don't believe in me but thats what makes me want to do it even more. I mean people would probably say, "go to school get yoru degree dont worry about basketball." But......Getting my degree is inevitable, I'm gonna do that! Regardless....so why not prepare myself to do something else I love doing and have fun donig it. Hell I'm 22, don't have a family or a child to take care of I mind as well. I know I'm good enough to. But thats my basketball rant for the day.

I have also come to the realization that I pretty much do not have a life anymore. I dont go out, don't do anything, doing hangout with anyone. Hell I dont ever play basketball right now!!! I'm in class...at school doing hw or at home doin homework. I don't mind it though.

Wellllll I think I'm done for the day....I'm going to finish up this paper then head to the house....Until we meet again later alligator....

JB

My first blog

I kinda go into this blogging stuff from my man Gilbert Arenas. Well he's not really my man (no homo) but I like his game and his state of mind. No one ever believed in him kinda like no one really believes in me accomplishing the things I want to do with my life. But beside all that before I start getting pissed off lol

Today I'm feeling good, in SD at the parents house eatin up all their food watching cable (since we are deprived at my apt lol) on their big ass TV. Went out last night to a bar, first time I've been out in like 9 months. I'm wonderful though thinking about the next move I want to make as usual. Worried about doing all this damn homework too. But I kinda like this bloggin joint, I'll get all my abstract thoughts out that I think of on the daily with this....But uhhh until we meet again two fingers up, holla front.

JB